Finally moving forward (again)

I haven't been very good at staying up-to-date on my blog. I have found it is actually harder than I though for me to write about all of this. If you know me, you know i'm not one to share a lot of personal thought and feelings freely with people, so blogging about having cancer and what we are going through has not been easy, but maybe a little therapeutic. I have found that I think I am handling things pretty well and then I blog about them and the emotions come right back to the surface. I am not a writer, writing has never been my strong suit or fun for me, so thanks for bearing with me and reading my poorly written blog. Anyway, things are moving forward again. Last week we met with our new plastic surgeon at Huntsman, on the day I was supposed to originally have surgery, so it was a little depressing. First we met with the resident who seemed very nice, but she mentioned that there was a high probability I might need radiation. WHAT??? Needless to say that freaked both Ryan and I out. The plastic surgeon was not very talkative, seemed fine enough but didn't really explain or put our fears at ease about the radiation. We have talked to several doctors, we knew that if they found more cancer or it looked like it was spreading or what not I may need radiation, but all our other doctors felt it was unlikely I would need radiation, especially since I had very early stage DCIS which has not spread. So we were floored when the resident mentioned several times that radiation was a possibility and that she had told people before they wouldn't need radiation and then they did end up needing it. I totally understand covering your bases, but I wondered if they had even looked at my images and history. After that appointment we actually signed up for secondary insurance through the reserves so that if we didn't like the general surgeon we could go back to IHC and have some of our out of pocket covered by the secondary insurance. Which still wasn't ideal because we don't really know what our insurance would pay for an out of network surgery and have no idea what the secondary would cover. We were hoping and praying the general surgeon would calm our fears. Yesterday (wednesday) we met with the general surgeon at Huntsman. It started out a little shaky when they wanted to me come in 30-60 min early to enter all my information because they got a new charting system and the receptionist wasn't exactly friendly, and ended up saying half and hour early should be fine. So we showed up half hour early and the lady at the front desk said I needed a mammogram. Ryan was ready to leave right there. I told her I didn't need a mammogram I had already had several mammograms and I am already diagnosed with breast cancer. My medical records had been sent over and they could read my previous mammogram. She went back to talk to someone and didn't say anything more about it. I told Ryan we were here and just going to see the Dr. So we waited. Again we saw the resident first who was very nice and listened to our fears about radiation and said she would let Dr. Neumayer know. Dr. Neumayer came in and talked to us, she was very nice. Even said she didn't think that I would need radiation and that they had one of my early MRI's and could see that the spot in the left breast that was concerning in my newest MRI hadn't changed so they didn't need to do sentinel lymph nodes on the left side. That was relieving. I was afraid that because we were at a cancer hospital they were going to be extreme and take more than they needed and radiate "just to be safe". She was very calming. We talked about incision sites and total skin sparing. She told us she wouldn't be offended if we went back to IHC (she actually trained all the surgeons we had seen at IHC!). But we felt comfortable and confident enough with her that we are staying at Huntsman and we scheduled surgery for June 2. I feel so relieved! I am glad we don't have to wait another month for surgery, that we can get it done early so I can be recovered for Leslie's wedding. Relieved that we found good doctors. Relieved that it will be covered by our insurance and now we also have secondary insurance. I am so blessed to have Ryan by my side through all of this, he has truly been a strength to me. I am blessed to have such wonderful family who love and support us! My mother who understands what I am going through and listens to me and still loves me, my mother-in-law who sends me beautiful flowers to brighten my day just when I need it. A wonderful sister-in-law who has set up a Facebook page and fundraising for us. We have so many people who care and are praying for us. We couldn't do it without all of you! Thank you so very much for your continued support. I have received messages on Facebook from people asking what they can do for us, and just letting us know we are in their prayers. I cannot adequately express how much this means to us, and I thank you for wanting to help. Honesty right now we are just getting things in order, I am still healthy and working. Ryan will be able to take some time off work to be home with me after surgery, so I don't know yet what we will need. But thank you all for offering. I will do my best to ask for help when we do need it. For now your prayers and support and so greatly appreciated!