Goodbye

Goodbye life, sanity, sleep,weekends,goodbye clean house, laundry, grocery shopping, goodbye gym and good intentions to eat better,goodbye weekends, time off, lazy days, hobbies, reading. Goodbye dear sweet husband making me breakfast in the morning, making a lunch for me to take to school, making dinner or taking me out because we either have no food or no desire to cook. I am in nursing school!! Ryan is leaving for basic training!! I tried to tell myself Ryan being gone would be a good thing because he won't be here to distract me from studying, while that may be true, all the things he does for me, far out way the distraction. I need a good distraction! We will make it, we will survive. It may be just barely and may not be graceful but we'll be here at the end. So if you don't hear from me for awhile that's why. I am alive but my life has become even less blog worthy, and even more less picture worthy. Yes, I feel about as good as I look. Don't ask and don't comment! Ha!

I am freaking out!

Seriously. This is probably my last month of normalcy for a long time. If you know me you know it is not entirely unusual for me to be freaking out right now. School starts in less than 1 month, January 3rd to be exact. I can't believe it's practically here, I feel like I still have so much to do to get ready! And these last few months have just flown by!!
Thankfully i have Ryan, what would I do without Ryan? he is doing everything he can to help me relax, calm down and get everything done. He is the best ever!! He makes breakfast for me when I get home from work, and dinner when I am taking a nap before work. He even went to the mall for me and got the boots I really wanted when they were on sale because I worked the night before. That is love because Ryan does not like shopping! My list could go on and on and on but seriously he has been so patient and loving and helpful!
This week is really the week my anxiety level went through the roof. I worked Sunday night, fine, Monday fine, we even made dinner. That was our mistake. I woke up about 2 on Tuesday shaking and cold and achy. I thought i might have the flu, but wondered how I could have the flu when already got my flu shot like 2 months ago? Then I remembered that Holly and Brad had been down that weekend and she said they had had the flu earlier that week, but I hardly saw them, and really I hardly ever get sick. Ryan had to get up at 3:30 so I didn't want to wake him up earlier just to tell him I was sick. (if I wasn't sort of editing this as I go along you might be seriously laughing at my creative typing right now!) when Ryan's alarm finally went off, it felt like hours, I told him I was sick and he got me a warm blanket and laid by me for a minute. He ended up calling in sick because I was shaking so bad he thought he was going to have to take me to the hospital! He gave me some medicine and I started feeling better and fell asleep. When I woke up he was sick! Not shaking like me but not feeling good, so I got him some medicine and went back to sleep. So it turns out we made a less than mediocre dinner Monday night with chicken I had left in the fridge a little too long. Ryan only had a little and then made a sandwich, but I was starving so I at the bad dinner...and got really sick.
Lesson learned, pay attention to my food!
But because I was sick I missed my schedule sign up and forgot about it until midnight on wednesdy. I wad planning on working weekends while I am in school, but whe I went to sign up there was not a Friday night to be had! What? Why is everyone all of a sudden working weekends when need them!! Now my schedule is skiwompus!! Which naturally caused me to go into instant panic mode! On top of the fact that I was working at lds hospital which gives me anxiety. It is in the worst location of life!! Seriously. Going downtown at 7 at night is a nightmare, then you have to drive up the avenues. I hate the avenues. Stop on every freaking corner!! I am late nearly every time I work at lds hospital, no matter what time I leave. I despise going to lds hospital. Then getting out of downtown in the morning takes forever. So by the time I get home in the morning I am all worked up. Not to mention all the dumb drivers I get stuck behind. If you can't drive the speed limit it is either a) time to get a new car or b) you shouldn't be driving because your a moron. It is probably safest not to drive, ok be around me in the morning! :)
But Ryan and I did figure out a solution to my problems. Since he will be leaving in february I can move out of the apartment and live on a van. I can get to work and school and have a place to sleep. Perfect.
Ok, it will work out and I am sure it is not as dramatic as I am making it out to be,but sometimes it seems that way to me. That's why I need Ryan to bring me back down to earth.
Wow. If you didn't think I was crazy before you do now. I do. Sorry no pictures again. I might have some at home I can try to post later, we'll see.

Working my butt off (hopefully!)

These last couple weeks have been crazy!! Last week I was a crazy person. I don't know what got me going but I seriously worked out a ton! One morning I ran for 40 min. Then that night I went to a piyo class with my cousin Sara, I loved it! Then the next dayni had personal training then right after I went to a zumba class, which wasn't my favorite.... Hopefully I can try it again, but piyo was awesome. I think I am paying for everything now though. I slept until 3:30 today! I did work the two nights before bit that is long for me, all this exercising is wearing me out! Let's just hope I don't lose whatever motivational streak I'm on!

I also got to have lunch with my cousin Sara, we definitely needed to catch up! I get so busy being busy I forget there are other people out there! Then we went to piyo together, it is nice to have a workout buddy!

Halloween not my favorite holiday, I celebrated by working. And I made a wreath. That's it. Happy Halloween.

I have been in some kind of crazy mood lately, besides the working out. I decorated my porch and made my Halloween wreath, and I have more projects on my list! I am normally NOT like this! Maybe I should go to the doctor. What doctor to you go to for exercising and doing crafts!! :)

It's nice thinking this is my last shift this week, even though I am working at slbh on Friday and contemplating picking up a day shift on Thursday for some overtime pay! I feel so good right now! Which is why I am blogging, or sharing all my random thoughts at 3 in the morning

I am contemplating working days even though I know itnis crazy!!? It would be really nice to see Ryan more, nice enough that I am contemplating busting my butt for 12 straight hours!! I am thinking that for the next shift sign ups I will work 2 nights and 1 day, ease into it a bit and see if I can really handle it. Plus school starts January 3!! And I need to figure out how to fit that into my schedule! Yikes!!

I don't know if I mentioned this before but I have been blogging from my iPad, in the middle of the night. If there are crazy spelling errors and random letters hanging around that is why, it really isnt easy blogging from an iPad. But I still love it!!

Oh my

I feel like time is just flying by (except when I am at work!) but seriously things just keep going and going and going. A kiss hello and a kiss good bye has been about the extent of our quality time together, except when there isn't time for that, then it's just a phone call on the way to work or texts at work. So this last week we took some much needed time off and had a mini vacation. We stayed up in deer valley. It was wonderful not to have to be anywhere and do anything. Sometimes I just need to get away from the house so I don't feel the need to clean and do laundry....I couldn't have asked for more than to just be with Ryan, he is the best!
So I picked up a prn job at salt lake behavioral health because "call off season" is supposedly starting at IHC, well it hasnt started yet for me. I have been working like a crazy person!! I hope it will get better when I am not training anymore?
In case you didn't know Ryan signed up for the air force reserves. I still have mixed feelings about this. I hate the part where he will be gone for 6 months for training and whenever he gets deployed, but also feel a strange sense of pride that he is doing it. With boot camp coming up quick we decided we need to get our butts in shape and have been going to the gym again. One more thing on the list of things to do. I don't like going but feel good after that I went! Hopefully I can keep going long enough to see results!
This is my third night on and in a few hours I get to go teach the sunbeams!! Oh my, I'm not sure how this is going to go. Got a phone call from an unknown number as I was walking into work which I didn't answer, turns out they want Ryan and I to say the prayers in sacrament meeting, hopefully they aren't planning on it,I'm just hopping to make it to primary! I swear we just said the prayers last month, that is plenty for me.
I'm just rambling now, nothing has really changed since I last wrote, still no pictures, but that's life I guess. A little hectic but pretty darn good!

What's going on??

You probably don't care, but sometimes I feel like I have no idea! Really since the middle of July I feel like we have been going non stop. After Vegas, work was killer,then the first weekend in august we went to washington for Ryan's 10 year high school reunion and a wedding reception. We actually made it this time! I have to say the reunion wasn't what I thought it would be, apparently the dinner Friday night was cancelled because nobody prepaid the $75. So we didn't miss much Friday. When we got there Saturday afternoon we met up with Ryan's friends, and went swimming in the canal. Well I didn't because I am a baby, but everyone else did. Ryan got to show off his moves! We did have fun. Then it was off to the bar..for a not very good expensive dinner,seeing a bunch of drunk people apparently Ryan didn't care to catch up with, which was fine with me! Especially the creepy drunk/high guy who Ryan played soccer with at one time,but was never really friends with,he kept coming over and just staring! Yikes!! I was glad we didn't stay very long. But glad we got to see the people we really came to see. Sunday was Ryan's friend Toby and his wife Tandra's wedding reception. They got married in Hawaii in may and we weren't able to go so it was Fun to see them all dressed up and see the wedding video. We came back tuesday afternoon, both worked. Thursday I went up to bear lake for the harvey family reunion. It was lots of fun! We went boating an played in the water all day. I tried wake boarding but just can't get up! I guess tubing is more my thing! I can hold on to that tube like a champion, even though my legs are flying in the air and slapping the water! Good times. It was so fun to see all my family, play, eat and catch up. I did pay for it though,I hurt so bad!
We also got a new car the beginning of august. A white Hyundai sonata. I like it. It has navigation, which has come in handy a couple of times,but I really like the back up camera, the Bluetooth, and my sunroof!
Anyway, so I got home from the family reunion Saturday afternoon. Sunday I taught sunbeams, then we went up to park city with Ryan's family for the week. I worked Sunday and Monday night. We hung out in park city for the week, Ryan got to go golfing almost everyday with his dad, Bryce and John. Now I am back at work. I'm not complaining,we have been doing some fun things, but sometimes all the fun things, combined with work can wear you out!
I think my tomato plants are officially dead. So sad. They were doing so well until we went to Vegas, we asked the neighbors to water them for 3 days, when we left they were green and thriving. When we got back they were brown and dead. They said they watered them every night, but obviously they didn't! I might still be a little upset about this. I tried to revive them,I cut all the dead branches off, but they just aren't the same. We only get really small tomatoes. Maybe next year?
Sometimes I feel like I am just running through life trying to figure out what's going on. I look at other peole with their houses, kids, and careers, and wonder why we haven't figured it out yet? But lately I have been thinking who cares what everyone else has, I am not them. I have a good life. I have wonderful family who love and support us. And and AMAZING husband who works so hard. Even though I always wish I could see him more, I am so glad to have a husband who knows how to work and is willing to work. There is nobody else i would rather try to figure out what I am going to be when I grow up with than Ryan! He always believed in me, encouraged me to go back to school, and knew I would get into a nursing program even when I lost hope. Thanks Ryan, I love you!

We've been busy

I've decided I don't really like blogging. We don't too much that is exciting and picture worthy, so I never have anything to write about. I do like the idea some of my friends have of just writing for themselves so I am going to try that. If I feel like writing I'll write, if I have pictures to share I'll share them,if I have exciting news to share I'll share it. You are welcome to keep reading, but I am not promising anything exciting.

It seems like this past week and a half have been pretty busy. Busy but good. Ryan has been busy at work which is always good! And sometimes not since he sold the 4 runner out from under me!! Someone Ryan works with really wanted to buy it, and Ryan is so nice he sold it to him!! I hope the weather stays nice for awhile so Ryan can keep riding the bike to work!!
The 13th was my birthday, my 27th birthday. Not something I like to admit, but it came weather I wanted it ot or not. And it was s great day! I got a little pampering done with my mom, and my family came up for dinner. Michelle made brownies and homemade ice cream, yummy!! Ryan wad also very sneaky and managed to not tell me what he got me for my birthday or have me open my present early, I like surprises. Ryan brought me breakfast in bed then I got my iPad!! Awesome!! He is the very best!
Saturday we were supposed to go to Louisiana to see Holly and Bracket and little Bentlee, but we were flying standby and got booted off the plane! Everything looked soo good. There were 12 open seats, we were in first class, the door closed. Then the door opened and they told us the plane was "too heavy" ya right! So we didn't make it to Louisiana, I was pretty bummed, not to mention exhaustd from only getting 4 hours of sleep that morning! When we got home Ryan opened my nursing school letter, I didn't want to see te rejection. He didn't say anything,so I looked and didn't quiet understand a first what was going on. I didn't see sorry on the page....I wondered if Ryan was playing a joke on me. No. I GOT ACCEPTED TO NURSING SCHOOL!!!!! It is a miracle. I was soo happy, I still can't believe it and read the letter everyday just to make sure.
That night we went and saw Harry Potter, it was definitely good, but not quite what I was expecting. I think I will probably have to go see it again.

Since we didn't make it to Louisiana and Ryan had time off, we decided we had to go somewhere,so we drove to Vegas. We layed by the pool, saw a cirque du soliel show, had dinner at the Bellagio buffet and had a great time relaxing together, not getting up early, or having anything tonworry about. It was nice. Then we came home and i had to work...now I am trying to stay awake!!

4 1/2 more hours, I can make it!

A Good Week!

Last week was a very good week! :)

Well I guess it started out kind of scary. Michelle went to the hospital with toxemia. They were hoping she would be able to be on bed rest for a couple of weeks and keep little Jaydia cooking until at least 34 weeks, but that didn't happen. Wednesday they took Michelle down to UVRMC and Jaydia Michelle Smith was born. She is the first niece/grandchild on my side of the family, and we were all very excited. Jaydia was 8 weeks early but is doing AMAZINGLY well. She had to be on a ventilator to help her breathe because she couldn't get all the CO2 out. Then she had a small billi lamp on since she was borderline jaundice. Now she is off the ventilator and cpap machine and breathing on her own!! She does still have a feeding tube and needs to learn to suck, swallow and breathe, and when she does that she can go home. They say 3-4 weeks! That is amazing. Michelle is doing well. She was discharged on Sunday from the hospital. We are so excited to Christian, Michelle and Jaydia!





Ryan's sister Holly had her little baby boy on Friday night! How exciting! Except they are so far away! Wish they were closer so we could go visit! But we are so excited for them as well! Congratulations guys! He is darling!



Leslie is so freaking excited to finally be an aunt! She thinks Jaydia is the "best thing ever!" Of course we all do!

Just can't help being excited that the babies are finally here and everyone is doing well!