I am freaking out!

Seriously. This is probably my last month of normalcy for a long time. If you know me you know it is not entirely unusual for me to be freaking out right now. School starts in less than 1 month, January 3rd to be exact. I can't believe it's practically here, I feel like I still have so much to do to get ready! And these last few months have just flown by!!
Thankfully i have Ryan, what would I do without Ryan? he is doing everything he can to help me relax, calm down and get everything done. He is the best ever!! He makes breakfast for me when I get home from work, and dinner when I am taking a nap before work. He even went to the mall for me and got the boots I really wanted when they were on sale because I worked the night before. That is love because Ryan does not like shopping! My list could go on and on and on but seriously he has been so patient and loving and helpful!
This week is really the week my anxiety level went through the roof. I worked Sunday night, fine, Monday fine, we even made dinner. That was our mistake. I woke up about 2 on Tuesday shaking and cold and achy. I thought i might have the flu, but wondered how I could have the flu when already got my flu shot like 2 months ago? Then I remembered that Holly and Brad had been down that weekend and she said they had had the flu earlier that week, but I hardly saw them, and really I hardly ever get sick. Ryan had to get up at 3:30 so I didn't want to wake him up earlier just to tell him I was sick. (if I wasn't sort of editing this as I go along you might be seriously laughing at my creative typing right now!) when Ryan's alarm finally went off, it felt like hours, I told him I was sick and he got me a warm blanket and laid by me for a minute. He ended up calling in sick because I was shaking so bad he thought he was going to have to take me to the hospital! He gave me some medicine and I started feeling better and fell asleep. When I woke up he was sick! Not shaking like me but not feeling good, so I got him some medicine and went back to sleep. So it turns out we made a less than mediocre dinner Monday night with chicken I had left in the fridge a little too long. Ryan only had a little and then made a sandwich, but I was starving so I at the bad dinner...and got really sick.
Lesson learned, pay attention to my food!
But because I was sick I missed my schedule sign up and forgot about it until midnight on wednesdy. I wad planning on working weekends while I am in school, but whe I went to sign up there was not a Friday night to be had! What? Why is everyone all of a sudden working weekends when need them!! Now my schedule is skiwompus!! Which naturally caused me to go into instant panic mode! On top of the fact that I was working at lds hospital which gives me anxiety. It is in the worst location of life!! Seriously. Going downtown at 7 at night is a nightmare, then you have to drive up the avenues. I hate the avenues. Stop on every freaking corner!! I am late nearly every time I work at lds hospital, no matter what time I leave. I despise going to lds hospital. Then getting out of downtown in the morning takes forever. So by the time I get home in the morning I am all worked up. Not to mention all the dumb drivers I get stuck behind. If you can't drive the speed limit it is either a) time to get a new car or b) you shouldn't be driving because your a moron. It is probably safest not to drive, ok be around me in the morning! :)
But Ryan and I did figure out a solution to my problems. Since he will be leaving in february I can move out of the apartment and live on a van. I can get to work and school and have a place to sleep. Perfect.
Ok, it will work out and I am sure it is not as dramatic as I am making it out to be,but sometimes it seems that way to me. That's why I need Ryan to bring me back down to earth.
Wow. If you didn't think I was crazy before you do now. I do. Sorry no pictures again. I might have some at home I can try to post later, we'll see.